it's happening people...

i felt it on our morning walk. fall. it's so coming. for those of us living in the north, you wake up one day and you just feel it. it's palpable. the air smells totally different....sort of crisp but with a hint of summer left. you can hear it too...the late summer cicadas calling out for mates, the crickets in the grass, even the squirrels are oblivious to us, busy with finding, hiding, eating. the bees are getting lazy, knowing their days are numbered. they don't zip and zing around, they sort of hover and bump into things. the flowers and plants are shriveling up and dying, save for the mums that live for this time of year...and 41 degree nights! they flourish and brandish all of fall's beautiful jewel toned colors.



this weekend also found me making the first batch of applesauce for my little one. i just know she is going to love the taste of fall's favorite fruit. i couldn't help but think this morning that as i went out and found the first hints of fall, somewhere else in the world, someone went out and found the first hints of spring. aren't cyclical patterns awesome? what goes around, comes around. share and share alike.



september is for squeezing the last bits of summer out, like wringing out a towel...those last little bits, those indian summer days, should be savored. mother nature's gift before a long winter. as a self-proclaimed hibernator in the winter, there are plenty of indoor days to come. i plan to spend what time i have outside with my little family, taking walks, listening to the sounds of fall's approach, feeling the crispness in the air, watching the light fade just a little earlier every day. enjoy the bounty that comes with harvesttime, and setting a little aside for an emerging and curious palate.



enjoy your last day of august, people...september and all its gifts is just around the corner.

new go to salad

the other day, i was looking in a notebook where i write down random recipes to look for something new and different to make. i found a recipe for a pasta salad of sorts...but didn't write down where i got the recipe from. i whipped it up, and hello....it was so yummy! i ate it for lunch for the next two days and it was just as scrumptious as when i first made it!



fast forward to yesterday....sitting at home, watching a rerun of my favorite food network show, which i lovingly call "hey daddy" and lo and behold...they were making this salad! so now we know where it comes from!

Yummy Pasta Salad

1/2 lb. bowtie pasta cooked & cooled
1 16 oz. bag shredded broccoli slaw
1 c. slivered almonds
1 c. dried cranberries (i used craisins)
1/2 c. lowfat plain yogurt
1/4 c. mayo
3 Tbs. cider vinegar
1 Tbs. sugar
1/4 tsp. cayenne (i left this out)
s & p to taste

combine the yogurt, mayo, vinegar, sugar, cayenne in one bowl....add it to the cooked & cooled pasta, slaw, almonds, and cranberries. salt & pepper to taste!

it was still crunchy and slightly sweet and delicious the next day, and the next. it makes just enough for a quick lunch for moms on the run. i am so glad i get to credit that sweet couple. they crack me up!

7 years

seven years.

seven years of ups and downs, highs and lows, laughter and tears. many thought that this wouldn't last...perhaps at times we even had our doubts, but we persevered because we knew it was right.

as i think back to seven years ago, what was most special to me was the time that we spent simply getting to know one another. no hand holding, no kissing, just you and me and simple conversation. we reserved 3 o'clock every afternoon to take a long walk around the park, and every friday morning was met with chai lattes before work. what's funny? seven years ago today i drove on campus to see about changing my future...and seven years later i have to go back to see about financial aid. too bad our meeting place in the middle is closed. sentimental me would have wanted to stop in just for old times sake....

we are no longer the people that we were seven years ago. we have grown and changed. we have made a home. we said i do and made a life. right now she's hanging the moon while we watch, wide eyed. are we where we want to be? not exactly, but i have faith we'll get there. faith, hard work, and patience will pay off in the end.

so here's to us, sweet....and these past seven years. may the next seven bring us good health, happiness, and loads of love to our home and family that we have built together.

7 things i have learned from my daughter

love.
she redefined love the moment she was born. with each passing day i found new pockets of love for her in places i never knew had feelings before. it is a different kind of love - the love a mother has for her child...different than the love you have for your parents, spouse, or siblings. different than the love you have for friends or close pets. it is visceral. visceral. that is the only word to describe those kind of deep feelings i carry for my daughter. a friend would tell me, "you wait until she comes out...you'll be like a momma bear with that baby." she was so right.



patience.
when you are dealing with a tiny human being who is depending on you 110% for everything, you learn patience very quickly. you have to. babies can feel your emotions, and the last thing you want to do as a parent is to give them the feeling that you have no patience with them, when they are depending on you for everything. they know they need you, and you know they need you. is it easy? absolutely not. when you are first learning the different cries and moods, it is hard to listen to the fussing and crying. it is a dance, with each partner trying not to step on the others' toes. you learn a little about them, they learn a little about you. make what they learn about you positive. what i have learned so far is when i am really feeling frustrated, i try to quiet myself. "quiet your body down," is what my mother would say. we are all balls of energy fields...a patient body is responded to in a much better way than one full of anxiety and strife. am i perfect? goodness, no. but when i find that i am feeling overwhelmed, i try to redirect my emotions so they don't turn toward the negative. mindful parenting means keeping your cool. in the future, that patience will pay off in a big way when you are dealing with a little bit more than poopy diapers and spilled milk.



be present.
it is so easy to plop our little ones down in or on something to keep them occupied...and sometimes it is absolutely necessary or else you wouldn't get anything done. i have found that after i get done whatever it is i am doing and be present with piper...really present...not reading on the side or watching tv, but giving her my undivided attention, she enjoys it more. when i am on the floor with her and find myself staring at the tv, her attention goes towards the tv, and that isn't a habit i really want to perpetuate. when she is in her swing and i am looking at a book or magazine, i'll look up and she'll just be staring at me. i don't mean to say i feel the need to entertain her all of the time...quite the opposite. i don't think as parents we have to entertain our children. what i have learned is that pockets of good quality time during the day does wonders. so i turn off the tv. put the book away for later. and give her more of me.



18 years.
is really all we are legally given, right? as i see it, s. and i have 18 years with piper, all to ourselves. from there, perhaps she'll decide to move away to college or do something else with her life. 18 years is such a short amount of time when you look at a lifetime. it dawned on me recently that i want to make the most of those 18 years. i want to give her the best our family can give during those years so that when she does decide to move away, she will always want to come back home again...because there is something there that you can't get anywhere else in the world....unconditional love from the two people who love you the most.

in order to do that, you have to work with your spouse to decide how you each see the future of the family. what you envision may not be what your spouse envisions. get on the same page. decide what is important for your family and stick to it. so much of life, as well as the people in it, is inconsistent. keep consistency in the home. love, laughter, good food, and one sturdy scrabble game is a good start. turn the noise of the outside world down, and find your family's voice in the home. it will be the voice that your child will come back to again and again in her thoughts and conversations. it won't matter what type of life she builds around herself after we give her a solid 18 year foundation. she could live in a yurt for all i care....because that yurt isn't moving with our foundation.



joy.
the child wakes with a smile on her face. she beams from ear to ear and greets the day. when was the last time you woke smiling? i am not much of a morning person, but with the help of my husband and child, i am learning to greet the day in more positive ways. saying good morning. spending a little quiet time with myself in thankfulness and prayer before turning on cnn to see the latest tragedy. piper and i now thank God each morning that we wake up and for all of the blessings He is giving our family.

when you walk into a room, she looks at you and nothing is hidden...she is beaming. she does not hide her love or her feelings. there are no games, no mockery, no holding back. what terrible things we learn as we grow. how terribly we treat the ones we love. she has reminded me how important it is to have joy with the people that we love. why save it? why suppress it? God only gives us today, and wouldn't we want to be remembered for how much love and joy we gave rather than how much we kept back? people don't remember the things you did but how you made them feel. so go on...give that hug for no reason, cuddle on the couch, give smoochies until they belly laugh, and don't go to bed without saying a heartfelt "i love you" to every single person living in your home, including yourself. find the joy in you, and you'll have more joy to give. i learned that from my daughter.



determination.
i read something crazy not too long ago...it was a baby book of some sort, and the author said something along the lines of when children are born, they have to decide right away if it is worth staying alive, based on the care they are receiving or not receiving. it takes trust and determination. every single day, piper is striving to learn something different. she has such determination. she may not know how to get what she wants, but she is going to fight trying. can't crawl yet? no problem...she can bounce on her butt and move inch-by-inch forward. i know what i want in my life. the seeds were planted a long time ago. i may not know how to get there, but what my daughter is teaching me every day is that even if i have to scooch on my butt, a little at a time, i'll get there. what is it you want? have you given up, or are you scooching? keep scooching, baby, keep scooching.



keep your childlike enthusiasm.
really, life is awesome. when i see piper light up because the cat walked in the room, i laugh because i realize that it is brand new for her. she has many more days of brand new things to discover and relish in. you notice more when you are looking at life through the eyes of a child. you relax and let the adult pressures fall away for a time. you have wet shoes? who cares...jump in that puddle. grass stains on your pants? buy some spray-n-wash and roll in the backyard. rainy day? it is a recipe for making chocolate chip cookies with the big bowl sitting on the kitchen floor so everyone has a chance to put something in and stir. we are bombarded with negativity...it is saturated in the news, in papers, on the internet. it's too much. too much. let it go for a day. or if you're real adventurous, a weekend. enjoy the cat walking into the room. jump in a puddle. roll in the grass. bake some cookies. enjoy the things that you enjoyed as a child with your child. or, better yet, let them lead you.

food for thought: csa

if you know anything about me, you know that i research subjects that i am interested in ad nauseum. i temporarily become obsessed, but in the process, i learn all that there is to know. something i am constantly researching is how to bring healthier food into our home and cook them in tasty ways. i have always been a farmer's market kind of girl, and when i learned that a farm i found myself buying from every weekend, titus farms, had a csa, i was intrigued.

what is a csa? well, it stands for community supported agriculture. basically, you buy into a local farm for a season (or a year!) and in return, you get a weekly supply of farm fresh, pesticide-free produce...or depending on the csa...dairy and meat products free of hormones (yeah!) so, i started doing research...and thought about joining for a good long while. even though i research, sometimes it takes me awhile to get off the fence.

s and i were a part of a community garden project the previous two summers, paying $10 for a large garden plot on a city lot. we drove over to tend to it several times a week. our first year we poured our heart and soul into it - i was heartbroken when our very first crops (green peppers) were picked by someone in the neighborhood. i told myself that they needed the food more than us and left it at that. we certainly had a bounty of fresh vegetables that year, and i was so proud of our work together. it was the first major project we had undertaken as a couple, and we were a good team. it was a lot of hard work, and we worked hard together. last summer we planted tomatoes and peppers, but it was not as fruitful, and we didn't put as much time or effort into it because i was pregnant and tired.

knowing that we were going to have our new little human sprout, i decided to take the leap into a csa this year, and we just love it. we bought a 1/2 share, which means that we get enough fresh produce for the two of us to eat all week. we have a standing date every thursday to pick up our produce, from june until october. they know us by name, and it is great to mingle over our weekly selections, talking to the farm family, asking about different vegetables (dinosaur kale!) and how to cook them or swapping ideas with the other members. it feels so good to be connected to something in our community and know that our money is supporting the hard work of farmers who live within driving distance, not thousands of miles away. i love bringing home produce picked that day, fresh and free of harmful chemicals. i can remember what s said to me after we picked up our first share..."you mean, we get to do this every week?" it has also taught us the importance of eating seasonally. we don't get tomatoes in june because they haven't gotten ripe and juicy yet. it is a good thing to teach children too...to see firsthand where their food comes from and to have the patience to wait for those juicy tomatoes!



as more people learn about their food sources, where it is actually coming from (your food often travels more than you will in a lifetime), the chemicals and pesticides that the fda allows that are sprayed on that we ingest, and how the animals are treated (have you ever seen a commercial chicken factory?) are all food for thought. most industrialized nations have much stricter food laws than we do here in the united states. more and more, i do not like to give my hard earned money to big companies that really don't have the health of my family in mind. mindful eating and mindful economics. i would rather have the local farmer get my money than a company who only cares about the bottom line.


in the end, you have to make the best choices for your family. perhaps you don't have a csa near you, or you cannot afford the investment. i made the commitment for our family, saving here and there to pay for it, and i feel so good about my choice. people typically eat three square meals a day plus snacks, so making the healthiest choices for what we put in our mouths and into the mouths of our family members is so important. it is funny that we justify having cable television, cell phones, and other non-essentials, but say we cannot afford organic food choices. it is simply a trade-off...and the last i knew, cable tv isn't going to make me live longer....good food choices will! i certainly don't purchase everything organic (and there is the occasional mcdonald's fry run), but i do pay attention to certain items that i know are notorious for having a high content of pesticides and/or hormones. as a nursing mother, it is important for me to eat well...because what i eat, my child eats.

with this, i leave you with some food for thought links...

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life (P.S.)

local harvest

the dirty dozen

bon appetit!

baby it's cold outside....

i shouldn't be crooning that song yet, there isn't snow on the ground....but baby, it's cold outside! from where i sit, there are gray skies and a solitary mourning dove on a wire singing her sad song. it is barely 60 degrees...and it just feels like fall. smells like it too. those of you from the north know what i am talking about. when that breeze switches and starts blowing from the canadian north, it can get chilly pretty quickly. right now it is a put on your sweats, make a hot cup of tea, grab a blanket, and tuck in for the evening kind of evening. which is exactly what i am going to do. as soon as i get up, i am going to put the water on for tea, get some socks on my feet, and pull the blanket out of the closet...turn on garrison and call it a night.

have a cozy one yourself...

five months

piper,



today you are five months old...i just can't believe it. and what a five months it has been! from our earliest days, getting to know one another intimately on the outside, healing and nursing and healing some more, working out the new mommy kinks - we did it together. since those earliest days, we have had the most blessed spring and summer together. we have not been apart, and if it were possible, that is the way i would have it for a long time to come.

alas....

next week we will start the transition back to work...me getting things ready, you meeting the sweet lady who will be caring for you during the day. you'll probably take to it like a fish takes to water...you are so happy and content with loving people. it will still be a huge adjustment for you, but momma on the other hand is going to have a hard time with it. i couldn't wait for this time in my life, and i appreciate every single uninterrupted day we have. and for those that tell me that being with someone else will help you with socialization, i fail to see their point. babies are meant to be with their mothers...they will get all the socialization they could ever want and need in the near future. at this tender age, babies belong with their mommas, plain and simple.

this summer we have lingered when we wanted to linger...ate when we were hungry...napped together when we were tired...learned to roll over, sit up (almost by yourself now), and warble the days away. on our many daily jaunts, we watched the leaves swaying in the trees and listened to the rustle in the wind...we listened to the birds a'plenty singing their songs...we watched the clouds gather and drift along, we followed the rhythm of the day. we read books, listened to music, and sang songs. life is a horse of a different color now that you are here.



where am i going with all this? i just want you to know, pussycat, that these five months have been the most wonderful of my life. my heart is saturated with love for you and papi and all that we have together in our little home. it is a quiet life, but it is our life, and it is good. we have been blessed with our time together, and even though we have a big transition to work through this fall, i promise that we will continue to make memories, grow and learn from one another, every single day. momma's got all her andirons in the fire, and with blessings from Above, things are changing in our favor. just you wait and see...

you are sunshine on the darkest days, sweet piper, and you are so loved. your papi and i are so happy you are here, healthy and happy, and we still watch you with bewildered awe feeling so blessed to be entrusted with your precious being.

love,
momma

little acorns grow

i recently came across the 14th century proverb that states mighty oaks from little acorns grow. it just stayed with me all day and inspired me to try something new with my dusty weblog. i am but one little acorn in a world of other little acorns and mighty oaks. there is so much to learn, so much to talk about, so much to share, so much to celebrate. plant yourself; let's grow together!